The train pulled into my station, a little too quickly for my liking, but nevertheless I pulled the emergency brake and the train screeched to a shuddering halt.
A very angry conductor came up to me and shouted, “Sir, I hope you have a very good explanation for your behaviour!”
“Why yes,” I replied, “this is my stop.”
The conductor turned a charming apoplectic shade of red and shouted, “Didn't you know that this is an express train??”
“Of course I did silly, otherwise why would I have needed to use the emergency break?”
I blame budget cuts for the poor quality of staff on our trains in England these days, a very sad state of affairs.
