Funny jokes, insults, puns, pictures, memes, cartoons and gifs.

Have A Nice Weekend!

Funny Joke - Have A Nice Weekend!
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.


The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

You might also enjoy

  • Chart Topping - [image: Suicidal music picture] Matt Hancock came under fire yesterday after the Health Secretary announced a blacklist of the top five albums most likely ...
  • You Deserve Hell - Funny You Deserve Hell Sign - Bible puncher holds a You Deserve Hell sign, while a large banana holds a You Deserve Potassium sign For the purposes of this...
  • All's Fair - The soldier stood on the bridge staring at the trickling stream below, water pink with the blood of the man he had just killed. A pale hand bobbled gent...