Funny jokes, insults, puns, pictures, memes, cartoons and gifs.

Accountant Jokes

Funny Accountant Jokes

Funny Accountant Jokes

What do accountants use for contraceptives?
Their personalities.

~~~

A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."

~~~
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."


Funny Accountant Jokes

You might also enjoy

  • MC of Galilee - [image: Funny Jesus rapper picture] The religious community was in uproar yesterday after a music historian Arthur Dozen claimed that the 12 disciples were...
  • You Deserve Hell - Funny You Deserve Hell Sign - Bible puncher holds a You Deserve Hell sign, while a large banana holds a You Deserve Potassium sign For the purposes of this...
  • All's Fair - The soldier stood on the bridge staring at the trickling stream below, water pink with the blood of the man he had just killed. A pale hand bobbled gent...