Funny jokes, insults, puns, pictures, memes, cartoons and gifs.

New Year One-Liners

Funny New Year One-Liners
Funny New Year One-Liners

To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

Most New Years resolutions go in one year and out the other.

The best way to keep a New Year’s resolution is to keep it to yourself.

'If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.' - Dorothy Parker

You might also enjoy

  • Sir Crisis Moment - [image: Sir David Attenborough Nuclear Devastation Picture] Eco-warriors across the globe reacted in horror this morning after a new report has claimed tha...
  • You Deserve Hell - Funny You Deserve Hell Sign - Bible puncher holds a You Deserve Hell sign, while a large banana holds a You Deserve Potassium sign For the purposes of this...
  • All's Fair - The soldier stood on the bridge staring at the trickling stream below, water pink with the blood of the man he had just killed. A pale hand bobbled gent...