Funny One-line Insult Quotes
- I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons.
- In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
- I hope you step on a lego.
- The difference between me and her? I can make you smile with my clothes on.
- I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
- I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- Is that your face or did your neck just puke?
- Nice hairdo, when's it being finished?
- You are about as deep as your reflection in a mirror.
- You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you
- Has your carer got the night off?
- You're riding the crest of a slump?
- When your IQ gets to 50 you should sell
- You should not be allowed to breed
- You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot
- Your so dense, light must bend around you
- You smell nice, did you run here?
- And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- I'm already visualising the duct tape across your mouth
- I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant
- You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
- Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
- You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
- I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
- Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
- You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your stupidity?
- Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head
- Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
- Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin!
- So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
- You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
- You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.
- I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -- like a coma.
- I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
- You are so stupid, you'd trip over a cordless phone.
- Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
- Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.
- You're as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
- If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!
- Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.
- Come again when you can't stay quite so long.
- Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
- If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
- You are so old, you fart dust.
- I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
- Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
- You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, "concentrate".
- Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?
- Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
- You're as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
- You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened.
- If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable.
- Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.
- I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
- If you had another brain, it would be lonely.
- You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
- I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
- Shock me, say something intelligent.
- The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg.
- I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived.
- Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down.
- Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul.
- Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.
- I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.
- Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.
- If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.
- Perhaps Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an idiot!
- Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!
- Are your parents siblings?
- For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.
- Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
- Please tell me you don't home-school your kids.
- You're the reason why women earn 75 cents to the dollar.
- You act like your arrogance is a virtue.
- People like you are the reason I work out.
- When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
- If a crackhead saw you, he'd think he needs to go on a diet.
- Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.
- I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
- We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.
- I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
- You are so old, even your memory is in black and white.
- When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet.
