One-line Insults

Funny One-line Insult Quotes
Funny One-line Insult Quotes
  • I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons.
  • In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
  • I hope you step on a lego.
  • The difference between me and her? I can make you smile with my clothes on.
  • I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  • I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  • Is that your face or did your neck just puke?
  • Nice hairdo, when's it being finished?
  • You are about as deep as your reflection in a mirror.
  • You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you
  • Has your carer got the night off?
  • You're riding the crest of a slump?
  • When your IQ gets to 50 you should sell
  • You should not be allowed to breed
  • You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot
  • Your so dense, light must bend around you
  • You smell nice, did you run here?
  • And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • I'm already visualising the duct tape across your mouth
  • I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant
  • You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.        
  • Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.        
  • You are proof that God has a sense of humor.        
  • I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.        
  • Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.        
  • You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your stupidity?        
  • Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head        
  • Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?        
  • Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin!    
  • So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.        
  • You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!        
  • You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.        
  • I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?    
  • Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -- like a coma.        
  • I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.        
  • You are so stupid, you'd trip over a cordless phone.        
  • Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!        
  • Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.        
  • You're as useless as a screen door on a submarine.        
  • If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!        
  • Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.        
  • Come again when you can't stay quite so long.        
  • Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.        
  • If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.        
  • You are so old, you fart dust.        
  • I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.        
  • Don't you need a license to be that ugly?        
  • You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, "concentrate".        
  • Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?        
  • Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.        
  • You're as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
  • You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened.
  • If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable.    
  • Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.    
  • I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?    
  • If you had another brain, it would be lonely.    
  • You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.    
  • I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!    
  • Shock me, say something intelligent.    
  • The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg.        
  • I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived.        
  • Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down.        
  • Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul.        
  • Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.        
  • I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.        
  • Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.        
  • If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.        
  • Perhaps Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an idiot!        
  • Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!        
  • Are your parents siblings?        
  • For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.        
  • Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.        
  • Please tell me you don't home-school your kids.    
  • You're the reason why women earn 75 cents to the dollar.    
  • You act like your arrogance is a virtue.
  • People like you are the reason I work out.    
  • When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
  • If a crackhead saw you, he'd think he needs to go on a diet.    
  • Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.    
  • I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!    
  • We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.    
  • I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.        
  • You are so old, even your memory is in black and white.    
  • When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet.