William Shakespeare Jokes


Now is the winter of our discount tent - Glastonbury Britain UK
Funny William Shakespeare Joke Glastonbury

Shakespeare walks into his local pub and orders a pint.
"Sorry Bill" says the landlord "because of your behaviour last night you're not welcome here any more"
"What !?" exclaims Bill
"Ay," replies the landlord.  "You're Bard"

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McDonalds are introducing a new Shakespeare themed burger inspired by the Scottish tragedy...it's a McBeth!

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Macbeth is known as the greatest chicken-killer in history, because he did murder most foul.  :)

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One day, a little boy was walking to the store with his mother and saw a man with bowed legs. He exclaimed "Mom! Look! That guy has bowed legs!" His mom promptly slaps him and says "Don't say that, it's rude."

A few days later the boy and his mom are out again. The boy sees another bow-legged man and yells to his mom, "Mom! Look! That guy has really bowed legs!" Again the mother slaps him and says "That is rude, if you do that again you'll have to read Shakespeare for a month."

The boy hadn't been rude for months, so his mother took him again to the store. Having forgotten about his mom's decree, the boy points out a bow-legged man: "Mom! Look! That guy has the most bowed legs ever!" His mom says: "Well that's it, you'll be reading Shakespeare for the next month."

For a month the boy reads Shakespeare. At the end of the month, his mom says to him, "Well you've been reading for a month now, did you learn your lesson?" "Yes" says the boy, "Can we go to the store again?"

The boy and the mother head over to the store, when lo and behold, several bow-legged men walk by. The boy having apparently not learned his lesson points at the men and yells to his mom:

"Hark, what manner of men are these
who walk with their bollocks in parentheses?"