Suits U, Sir!

Old taylor joke picture
What a pain - funny short joke
I'd been having terrible headaches for almost 2 months when my wife told me to go to the doctor.  He checked me over, a bit too thoroughly, I thought, and then said, "Well, James.  The good news is that I know what's causing your headaches, but the bad news is that you will have to be castrated. You have an immensely rare condition which causes your testicles to press against the base of your spine and causes these headaches."

"Are you sure?" I gasped.  He nodded.  So, reluctantly, I agreed, and 2 weeks later I walked out the hospital free of my headaches, $15000, and my testicles.  I was a bit depressed, so my wife suggested buying a new suit.  I thought, "why not?" and we walked into the local 'Suits U, Sir', where an elderly salesman greeted us.

"I'd like a new suit," I said.

The salesman eyed me briefly and said, "Of course, sir. Let's see... size 44 long."

I laughed with amazement, "That's right! But how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years," replied the salesman, smiling.

I tried the suit on and it fitted perfectly.

"How about a new shirt?" asked my wife.

"Why not?" I replied.

"34, sleeves, and 16 1/2, neck," said the tailor.

"But..."

"Been in the business 60 years!"

I tried on the shirt and again it fitted perfectly.

"How about some new underwear?" asked my wife.

I glared at her for a moment, but then said, "Sure."

"Let's see," said the salesman. "... size 36."

I laughed, "Aha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old..."

The salesman shook his head. "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."