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Church Hymn Auction Joke

funny old church lady gift day hymn auction joke

"For our Gift Day," announced the pastor, "we're going to have a fun auction for the opportunity to choose today's three hymns, and..."

"Excuse me!" interrupted an old lady, rushing forward to the front of the church.  "I bid one thousand pounds!" 

"Good gracious me!" said the stunned pastor.  "We hadn't actually started yet, but I suppose we may as well ..."  He turned to face the congregation.  "Any higher bids?"

There was no reply, so the pastor rapped his Bible on the pulpit and said, "Sold! To the beautiful lady at the front.  Madam, which three hymns would you like to choose?"

The old woman turned to face the congregation and extending a bony finger replied, "Him.... him ... and him."

Funny old woman church humn auction joke story