Favourite Politically Incorrect Jokes

• What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?  -- The taste.
• What is the best thing about Alzheimer's? -- You meet new people every day.
• What do you call a ballerina with one leg? -- A one-one.
• Why was time out called at the leper hockey game? -- There was a face-off in the corner.
• A cannibal passed his ex in the woods.
• Why do they call it PMS? -- Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.
• Why do nurses give Viagra to elderly male patients? -- To stop them rolling out of bed.
• How do you get a one-armed man out of the tree? -- Wave at him.
• What do you call a man at the door with no arms or legs? -- Matt.
• What do you call a man on your wall with no arms or legs? -- Art.
• What do you call a man floating in your pool with no arms or legs? -- Bob.
• What do you call a man swimming lengths in your pool with no arms or legs? -- Clever Dick
• What do you call a man in a pile of leaves with no arms or legs? -- Russell.
• What do you call a man in a flower port with no arms or legs? -- Pete.
• What do you call a man whose legs are cut off at the knees? -- Neil.
• What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs? -- Grassiass.
• Why don't blind people go sky diving? -- It scares the crap out of the dogs.
• How to you get a fat woman to sleep with you? -- Piece of cake.
• Beware budget circumcisions - they're a complete rip-off.
• What do you call a man having an epileptic fit in a lettuce patch? -- Seizure salad.