Top Dentist Jokes

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I went to the dentist. He said, "Say aaah."

I said, "Why?

He said, "My dog's died."

(Tim Vine)


I liked my dentist so much I gave him a little plaque.


I'm always amazed to hear of air-crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records.  What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

(Paul Merton)


A man walks into a dentist's and asked how much it would cost to extract two wisdom teeth.

"80 dollars," replied the dentist.

"80 dollars!" exclaimed the man.  "That's a bit steep.  Isn't there any way you could do it cheaper?"

"Well, I suppose if you don't have anaesthetic, we could knock it down to 60?"

"That's still too expensive."

The dentist scratched his head. "OK, if I save on the anaesthetic and just rip out the teeth with a pair of pliers, I could get away with only charging you 20 dollars."

"Perfect!" replied the man. "Book my wife in for next Monday."

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